TJD makes ROLLING STONE

In case you missed it, "The Stone" did a little write-up on the Bounty Hunting Machine. You'd think this would get me a date with Kelly Clarkson or something. I'm still waiting, Clarkson. Get it while it's hot!

God Bless this great nation. Lee Greenwood said it best, so play that futhermucker loud this week. Now excuse me while I go celebrate by watching cars and planes turn into robots that fight each other.

RINGTONES: A SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE

I was trying to mind my own at Louie's when I hear a Justin Timberlake song start playing out of this girl's hip pocket. That's the ring on her phone. No offense to Mr. Timberlake, but I've never wanted to take a sledgehammer to a phone so bad in my life.


It's not just that she let it play for 35 seconds before lifting her lazy, fat arm off her Frappuccino to answer it. And it's not just that ringtones are another way to be RUDE in public. It's what those God awful things represent. A RINGTONE is something you don't need. It's just something that someone convinced you to BUY so you have something to put on the new phone you just bought... the phone you paid extra for so you could play RINGTONES on it. It's a cycle of selling us shit we don't need. And the cycle ends with you being rude and me being interrupted from my chili dog with some unnecessary Timberlake. Hell, the sad thing is, once you pick up the phone you've got nothing to say.

Nobody wants to hear your ringtone. Trust me. NOBODY. You want to hear the same song every five minutes, put on some futhermucking earphones. Then go home and "download" some manners.

That's how I roll,

TJD

MY NEW MAILBOX

Drop on by the Dallas homestead and check out my latest lawn ornament. Just a little message to trespassers: you cross the TJD and you get a "Special Delivery."