The Online Chronicles of T.J. Dallas

1/11/08

SALUTATIONS

(I keep this blog at the top to orientate newcomers. Current blog starts right after.)


Heads up, jackass. You have been swimming the internet cesspool only to wash ashore on the golden beaches of my blog. The name is T.J. Dallas, that stands for Thomas Jefferson and he’s on the friggin’ nickel. My day job is roaming the great 48 states as a certified bounty hunter. That's right. I tag 'em and bag 'em. Now, with the help of my cousin Darrin, I've got a computer on loan and a means to "blog out." So buckle up. I'll be posting my exploits and pearls of wisdom right here.

But you may ask, "who is this force of nature, this handlebar moustachioed crusader who is Dallas?" While I'm not one to toot my own horn, perhaps my press can do it for me. This is a clipping from the El Paso Community Gazette when they featured me in their "Know Your Neighbor" section:


I must note that the above was embellished a bit due to an over-zealous journalist who needed to sell some papers.

But the rest is from the horse's mouth. So stay tuned to this blog and yours truly. And if you get on my shit list, watch your back. 'Cause I got two speeds: "Quick" and "What the hell was that?"

That's how I roll,

TJD

8 Comments:

Blogger Darrin D. Dallas said...

Hey Tommy, your blog turned out pretty neat. If you're done, can I have my computer back? I want to see if it will work as a control panel on the robo-beast I'm creating.

Later,
Darrin

P.S. Mom wanted me to ask you to bring her a carton of menthols next time you come by.

2:18 PM

 
Blogger T.J. Dallas said...

Damn hell, Darrin. We had an agreement. I have the computer until the first of the year, upon which my last check will come in and I can by my own. You know this. No one is ever "done" with a blog. That's like saying my life story is done. And it's not. I'm on page one of that book, son.

And what are you doing back on that project anyway? No one wants to see that mechanical abomination, Darrin. We talked about this. Any movie where someone creates a robot something, the situation always goes bad. Always. Good Lord, you work at a gas station. Make a robot that pumps gas, alright? That's something we can all use.

TJ

P.S. Tell Aunt Dolly I got some Virginia Slims coming with her name on 'em.

12:29 AM

 
Blogger Darrin D. Dallas said...

That’s okay, Tommy. You can keep that computer as my Christmas present to you. Besides, I don’t need it no more. I made a nifty control panel from the innards of an old VCR and some sort of medical equipment doohickeys I found at the land fill.

3:56 PM

 
Blogger zane said...

Tag, bag, sounds good to me!

9:59 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello. This post is likeable, and your blog is very interesting, congratulations :-). I will add in my blogroll =). If possible gives a last there on my blog, it is about the Câmera Digital, I hope you enjoy. The address is http://camera-fotografica-digital.blogspot.com. A hug.

1:41 AM

 
Blogger T.J. Dallas said...

Who is this? Borat? I'm guessing either (A.) English is not your native tongue, or (B.) you are some kind of robot sent to destroy me. If it's B, you cyber-jack my blog and I will Terminate your Skynet ass.

TJD

1:28 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!

6:04 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

top [url=http://www.001casino.com/]free casino[/url] check the latest [url=http://www.casinolasvegass.com/]casino bonus[/url] autonomous no store perk at the best [url=http://www.baywatchcasino.com/]loosen casino
[/url].

3:56 PM

 

Post a Comment

<< Home