HOW TO PICK A FIGHT

Yeah, any hombre can put his dukes up. But to instigate a full-on bar brawl with style, you've got you have a memorable line. You've got to spit out some fighting words that people will be repeating on the way home (or to the emergency room). I'm man enough to admit that most times I get into a tussle, I come out on the short end... truth be told, I'm nursing a shiner right now.

But when TJD steps up, he comes with a bit of pugilistic poetry. Here are some of my favorites:



MORE FAVORITE FIGHTING WORDS:

1. “Do you have a can opener? ‘Cause I got a fresh can of whoopass. Family size.”
2. “I’ve seen ‘Roadhouse’ fourteen times and I can dance like Swayze.”
3. “Call the weatherman, because ‘Hurricane Dallas’ is making the rain.”
4. (Hold up each fist) ”I borrowed this one from Steve Segal and this one from Johnny Van Damme. Time for a double feature.”
5. “Hey, play something by The Partridge Family, ‘cause I’m gonna beat you like a tambourine.”
6. "Call the Tooth Fairy, 'cause you're about to make a donation."
7. "Do you have the time? (look at watch) Oh yeah, it's time to kick your ass."

Use at your discretion. Most likely after any of these, you WILL get hit in the face. Don't dish it out if you can't take it.



That's how I roll,

TJD